Mass Effect: Technological Advancements
by OrderlyAnarchist
Summary: Shepard's been dead for two years, and there have been some serious technological "leaps" in the time he's been gone.  A series of quick one-shots detailing his experiences with the "new" technology.  Rated T for language
1. Chapter 1: Thermal What?

_Chapter One: Thermal What?  
>Shepard's just woken up, and now he can't even figure out how to make his gun work.<em>

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><p>"Okay Shepard, there's a weapons locker to you're left," the voice from the speaker told him. "You should be able to find some armour as well as a pistol in there."<p>

"Thanks Miranda." Shepard opened up the locker, and was delighted to find that his guide was correct. The armour was basic, but would provide decent protection. The pistol was a model he'd never seen before. He picked it up, and attached it to his new armour's weapon holster.

"Shepard, you've got mechs inbound to your position!" Miranda shouted at him through the speaker. "You should take cover, and gun them down as they break through the door."

"Right." Shepard ducked behind a pile of crates, and waited for the mechs to enter the room. The loud clanking of metal feet striking the floor of a hallway alerted him to their location. He pulled out his pistol, and waited for the mechs to get in sight. Suddenly, the door opened, and three humanoid shapes appeared in front of him. Shepard aimed the pistol at the round white head of the lead mech, and depressed the trigger.

He waited expectantly for the loud bang of a pistol. Instead, he heard the click of a gun unwilling to fire. "Well fuck. I guess we're doing this the hard way." A glowing blue veil appeared around his body, and the three mechs went flying into a wall, exploding as they hit its unyielding surface. Satisfied that the three mechs were no longer a threat, he looked up at the speaker above him. "Hey, Miranda. This gun doesn't work."

"What? It must be out of thermal clips. You should be able to find some along the way. Until then, just use your biotic powers."

"Thermal what?"

"Thermal clips, you know, the things that make the gun fire."

"Why should I need a thermal clip to fire, when guns work perfectly fine without one? Is this thing from the last century?"

"Shepard, all state of the art weapons use thermal clips." She was clearly exasperated by his ignorance.

"Like hell they do. The last time I woke up, I was using the best weapons available. They definitely didn't use thermal clips."

"Shepard, I don't know what's wrong with you, but weapons have been using thermal clip technology for a long time. It's been that way for the last ye- oh, right."

"What do you mean, oh right? I've been using weapons for a long time. Never, have I seen one that uses thermal clips. Not in the last year, not even when I first enlisted!"

"Shepard," the woman began. "That's the problem. The last time you woke up was two years ago."

"Wait, two... years?"

"I know it's hard to take in, but now is not the time. We'll talk about this when we get to the escape shuttle, but we need to get you off this station."

"Yeah, right. But when we get out of here, I'm going to need a nice long explanation of exactly what's going on here."

"Of course, commander."

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><p><em>Up next: So, where's this thing go?<em>

_Thanks for reading, and remember to leave a review so I can get better!_


	2. Chapter 2: So Where's this thing go?

_Chapter Two: So... where's this thing go?  
>Commander Shepard asks Jacob for some lessons in reloading<em>

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><p>Shepard entered a large room, and the first thing he noticed was the sound of gunfire, not directed at him, but at someone else. He looked over at the source of the noise and saw a lone human taking cover behind some crates, fighting off a group of mechs that were attacking from above. He powered up his biotic barriers and made a quick dash to the man's location, arriving unscathed.<p>

"Commander Shepard?" the man asked, obviously surprised at his presence.

"Yeah, it's me," Shepard replied.

"Never thought I'd meet a legend like you. Jacob Taylor at your service commander.

"Dispense with the formalities Jacob, now's not the time. What's the situation up here?"

"Not sure, but things must be bad if Miranda's got you running around. These mechs aren't tough-" he emphasize his point by blowing the head off one with his pistol, "but there's a lot of 'em. Fortunately, I'm a biotic. Just give the word when you want me to hit them with the good stuff. No way they can beat two skilled biotics. Especially when one of them is a crack shot with a pistol."

"Yeah, unfortunately I'm out of thermal clips," Shepard told him.

"Don't worry, I've got a few extras," Jacob told him, tossing a couple small objects at him.

Easily catching them, Shepard gave the devices a quick look over. They were rectangular, and a dull red-orange colour. _Now I just need to figure out how these things work. _Shepard pulled out the still-unfamiliar pistol, and examined it, trying to figure out how the clips went into the gun.

"Everything all right commander?" Jacob asked, noticing the confused look on Shepard's face.

"Yeah, it's just... I seem to be having a problem with my gun."

"What's the problem?"

_Great, time to make myself look like an idiot in front of someone expecting me to be a leader. _"I'm not quite sure how this thing," he held up the thermal clip, "goes in my gun."

"Oh, you've probably never used that pistol before," Jacob told him, completely misunderstanding his problem. "Don't worry, it's the same spot as a normal pistol."

"No, what I mean is that..." he took a deep breath. "I have no clue how to use a thermal clip."

"Oh, right. You've been gone for a few years, I forgot that." Jacob paused before letting out a laugh. "The great Commander Shepard, defeated by a thermal clip! Just wait 'till I tell the press!"

"Yes, I know it's hysterical, but if I can't figure out how to use my gun then we're not getting far."

"Sorry, I couldn't pass up the opportunity. There's a small button at the bottom of your pistols handle. Press that, and a slot on the bottom will open up so you can insert the clip. Just do that every time a clip ejects itself and you'll be fine."

He followed Jacob's instructions and was pleased to note that the pistol was finely firing. "You know, this doesn't seem like an advancement over the old system. I prefer having unlimited ammo at my disposal at the risk of the occasional gun overheat over this."

"I don't really understand the benefit either, but nobody makes guns the old way anymore, so we're stuck with these. You get used to it eventually."

"I guess." He fired a quick burst of shots, taking down the rest of the mechs on the platform above. "At least the gun works. C'mon, lets get to that escape shuttle."

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><p><em>Up next: I think my shields might be broken<em>

_Thanks for reading, and be sure to leave a review so I know what I can do better. _


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